~Fat SCUBA Adventures~


Oh happy day! I have finally been clued in to the most amazing thing. SCUBA diving adventures for fat women! Yeah! Yippee!

Now I've been dive certified since 1999 and I've lived in Hawaii since 2000. So you'd think I've gotten alot of bubble time logged, right?

Wrong!

I tried diving once here and it was a disaster for a variety of reasons. One of which was the last 40 pounds I had gained that made me feel I was "too fat" to dive.

I haven't attempted to dive since.

Along comes a friend from the GabCafe telling me about this wonderful place called Big Adventures where they take fat women on SCUBA diving trips.

Whoa! Excitement! Elation! Joy! But wait, where are they located?

So I checked out the website and it turns out that they are on Maui! It's just a short 30 minute flight from my island. Added bonus - my mom lives there so I have a free place to stay, plus I get to visit with mom. Two for one! I score!

This is a group that will understand my special needs (i.e. more weight, assistance getting the right sized equipment, etc.).

Did I mention it was ALL WOMEN?!!!

Oh happy day indeed!

I am so looking forward to my trip in June.

And it just goes to show that size does not have to hinder you from the things you love. I now know I must never give up any of the things I enjoy simply because I feel "too fat" to do them.

I will live a full and rich life.

"Under the sea, under the sea, everything's better, down where it's wetter, take it from me!"

The voice of Sebastian the Crab fills the room.

Time to go get wet!

~The Fat Savage Speaks~


And fuck is she pissed off!

Let's start with the news that is makin' my savage blood boil.

Oh, here's some good shit to start with. The US Senate has passed a fetus protection bill. Check out the Yahoo news story HERE.

Now I'm all for children's rights but I truly believe in my heart that this is just a way to undermine a woman's right to choose. While it specifically says that abortion doesn't fall under this new bill, it may open the door to other legislation that one day might.

I also don't believe that this bill would deter someone from committing a crime. It's just more smoke and mirrors to erode a woman's right.

Her's another tasty tidbit coming from the state of Georgia. You can check it out HERE. It seems that a state senator has decided to include language as an amendment to a bill that prohibits women from getting genital piercings and professional piercers could face from 1 to 20 years in prison.

I believe that, originally, the bill had to do with female circumcision and piercing was added on to it.

Grrr! In any event I believe that an adult woman (or an adult man for that matter) should have complete autonomy over their own bodies. For it to be legislated is just sick and wrong!

And our president select is pissing me off too! I can't find the story anymore (it was at the Daily Mislead) but it basically said that Bush will allow gays to be fired (it was either the White House or government as a whole) JUST FOR BEING GAY!

I'm like...huh? I don't care who you love or have sex with. Can you do the job? That's all that matters! Double grrrrr!

The last story is the one that hits home the most personally. Though I'm a woman, I probably won't ever need an abortion and I don't live in Georgia so I'm safe to decorate my labia and clitoris in whatever manner I deem fit. I'm never planning on working for the government in any capacity (Except to possibly run it some day. That might be nice.) so my sexuality will not be questioned. Though I do admit, all of these stories do have scary possible implications down the road. But no, the last hits hard and hits now.

Turn to "SF GATE" for an article on the changing face of weight. This is what is pissing me off today. Diets that don't work. Women that pour millions into an industry that does not have their best interests at heart. The World Health Organization (WHO) needs to take a flying leap with their new BMI standards that makes Tom Cruise obese. I guess I'm the new flying whale!

To what purpose? Who does it serve to change the numbers?

"The global love-handle police insist on this ridiculous BMI standard, which classifies 61 percent of Americans as overweight or obese. You have probably heard that number. Along with the claim that obesity costs the United States $117 billion a year and kills 300,000 Americans annually, it is one of the three most commonly cited figures associated with our so-called obesity epidemic. But it's more like an epidemic of bad statistics. All three of these numbers are seriously flawed. "

"The claim that excess weight kills 300,000 Americans each year is bizarre in its assumption that overweight people are officially immune to all other causes of death. As insane as it sounds, if Cruise were to kick the bucket for any reason, he would count toward the mythical 300,000 total. "
-Dan Mindus for the San Francisco Chronicle, March 3, 2004

So if I die because I was involved in a car accident, my official cause of death would be my fat!!!??? What the fuck?

There is some seriously faulty logic going on here.

Add to this all the recent media blitz over obesity.

Come on people, wake up and smell the Pop Tarts. Aren't there so many more things that are more important right now?

On the national level:
Education - No Child Left Behind is sure leaving lots of kids behind.
Terrorism - Ours or theirs? I'm not sure which, but it needs to end, pronto. Bring our military home!

And on the state level:
Hawaii - A bill in the house that will provide protection for K-12 students in regards to sexual orientation may soon be quashed.
California - The Gov. is considering putting a 24 month cap on child care subsidies for single parents who are trying to get their degree. Do you know anyone who can get a bachelors degree in 2 years? I sure as hell don't. Come on Arnie, we know you want to balance your state's budget but there's got to be another way. How about a performance cap with a 6 year time limit? Here's how it works. You get 6 years. In that time you need to maintain a certain GPA in order to continue to receive funding. Hey, look! It's simple! Check out Parent Voices for more info.

Get mad, stand up and do something about it! Whatever your passion, whatever you feel strongly about, let your voice be heard! The only way we can change the status quo is by speaking up and education people. Whether it is about the lies perpetuated by the diet industry, inadequate healthcare, lack of adequate education, loss of rights of the individual, etc. Stand up, be counted and you will make a difference.

And don't forget to vote!

~Advice on Feelings During Moontime~


There is no time during the month that I feel more powerful that when I am menstruating. My "moontime" as I call it, is a sacred time just for me. It is when I pause and reflect on my life and look forward into the future to see where I want to go. It is a time of personal power and it shows in my speech and in my direction and focus.

It is also my time to let my personal guard down and feel deep emotion freely. I feel it is a time for me and the Goddess to connect on a deeper lever, a bond of blood and (oftentimes) pain. My cramps, my emotions, all of the things that some may count as negatives all add up to make me feel more alive, more free than any other time of the month.

I will be sad to see my moontimes go with age, but then I will embark upon another type of womans journey. A new realm to explore.

I don't know if any of this will help you. But know this. You are a loved and precious person of power and substance. Regardless of your size. Size is immaterial. You are beautiful. You are beauty.

And you are never, ever, alone.

~The Feeling of Power~


Friday, March 12th was great. I was feeling good. I was reading something (now I can't remember what it was) and it had to do with dressing how we feel. I realized that my general choice was a big t-shirt and roomy cotton pants. While I like wearing it and it's comfortable I just felt like dressing up last night. I had a council meeting to go to and then had no other plans.

I put on a slinky, clingy black shirt that I picked up from Torrid in San Diego (gotta love that store!), my baggy jeans, black 4 hole docs, and chunky silver jewelry. I actually wore some eyeliner and mascara (I rarely wear makeup) and painted my lips a bright red that I adore. I tied a red and purple scarf in my hair and I was ready to go.

Everyone at the council meeting was amazed. It was so nice to get compliments on my appearance.

I debated on going out after but I decided that I didn't want to sit in a crowded and smoky club so I stopped at the Navy base liquor store and picked up a 6 pack of beer to take home (it'll probably take me a month to drink, but that's ok).

It all came crashing down when I heard the comments from some of the guys in the store. I held my head high and concluded my business and left the store. There were so many things I wanted to scream at them.

You know, if a guy doesn't like the way I look, that's fine, that's his opinion. But he doesn't have to be rude or make fun. I came close to calling someone out last night. Not for me, I'm married, my spouse thinks I'm wonderful, but for the next fat girl and the next, who might hate herself just a little bit more because of what some stupid guy is saying about her. I so wanted to stand up for her rights.

For me, I don't care much. In fact, when I heard the whispers behind me I put a bit more sass in my walk. Don't like it, don't look.

The funniest part was when I got home. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I've been in that store dozens of times at all hours and days, with different people and alone. I've never had that happen before. Then I realized, I've never gone in that store dressed up like I was going clubbing.

That's when I truly realized that I was a threat to them and they didn't know how to deal with it, and couldn't handle it.

Like I said, it was a great Friday night.

I got home, drank a beer, and reveled in the power.

~The Fat Savage Speaks~


So, the Fat Savage speaks. She is a petulant bitch who swings between giddy joy and all consuming depression.

Some would call that Manic-Depression. I call it Swinging.

Yes, I'm fat.

Yes, I'm savage. Not quite a modern primitive, though I often wish I could be that free.

I'm here to discover my muse and share it all with you.

I'm persistent.

I'm also fat.

Does this disturb you? Then leave!

If not, stay awhile, read, enjoy, revel in the idea of a beautiful fat woman owning her power.