Tuesday, May 4th - Day One:
In workout clothes I entered the boxing gym. Perhaps that was a subtle subconscious message to myself that I was indeed ready to workout. After grabbing my towel and water out of the car I stowed my keys and bag in a locker. My heart was beating so loud. I'll admit it, I was scared.
What would my body do? Could I even do this? Will I look stupid? All these questions and more flooded me and almost sent me back to my car. But then I remembered the anger I felt over the unfair online conversation I had with a stranger professing to be a fitness expert. His telling me that I was in denial and delusional made me so angry. I was pissed and felt backed into a corner. And no one puts Baby in a corner! Then he had the audacity to block me so I couldn't even reply to his holier than thou final diatribe about how I could live with my disease (here he was referring to me being fat) and he was done with me. I wanted to punch him. In lieu of him, I wanted to punch something.
So I straightened up, pushed back all the "You can't do it" words that were running around in my head like spastic children, and stepped into the ring.
Entering a boxing ring can be a bit tricky. There's balance and you have to squeeze yourself between two sets of ropes, bent over. My balance wasn't the best, but I made it into the ring without mishap. Stepping into the ring though, it's like your whole demeanor changes. This is where people fight, where they triumph, where they bleed, where they fall. The blue of the floor couldn't disguise the drops of blood, almost black with age, that speckled the surface. This wasn't a Tae Bo class at your local gym (though there is nothing wrong with Tae Bo, it can be quite fun with friends). No, this was real. I could get really hurt. I could hurt someone else. I know it was at that point that I started smiling.
My smiles didn't last long.
First off, my trainer taught me the proper defensive stance for a Southpaw (I'm left-handed), then he taught me the jab and the straight punch. And I started shadowboxing. I learned that footwork is important and that there are times that I confuse my right and left foot when facing an opponent. I did that with my punches too. I grew more frustrated each time I screwed up, throwing a right when it should have been a left. But Oscar was patient. He led me through a shadowboxing workout that lasted about 15 minutes or so. I circled him, jabbing here, throwing a punch there. He was never close enough for me to actually hit but it was good to have someone to focus on. He'd call out "jab" and I'd jab. He call out "one, two" and I'd jab and throw a straight punch. He'd yell "out!" and I'd know that I had to back up, keeping my defensive stance and proper footwork. It was exhausting. I haven't had so much fun working out in a long time.
By the time he led me over to the heavy bags, I was dripping with sweat and I do mean dripping. None of my previous workouts have ever involved such copious amounts of sweat. It was gross and really cool, all at the same time. I had already polished off my bottle of water so I refilled it as Oscar got me a pair of gloves and had me actually hit the heavy bag!
Above is a basic video on heavy bag work. Needless to say, I didn't look anything like this my first day. I still don't. But the feeling of glove hitting bag is something I really needed that day so I put forth my best effort. I worked the bag for about 15 minutes before Oscar came over, told me I did a good job, and that I was done for the day. I was in the gym for about 45 minutes and my workout lasted about 30 minutes.
I barely made it to the car. I was so tired. But being able to hit the bag, having Oscar tell me I did good work and being able to banish the "you can't" in my head and replace it with "you can and you did" were priceless. I would definitely return.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
A New Journey Begins
So it's been almost two years since I really did much of anything with this blog. It's time I changed that.
During the summer of 2008 I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. To say I was scared would be a vast understatement. I was immediately put on a slew of medications to protect various organs from the damage that diabetes can cause. I was given access to some excellent educational tools to help me control my blood sugar. I learned a great deal about my body, how it works and overall health. At that time I also began researching something called Health At Every Size.
I was intrigued. I had spent so many years, and countless dollars, in efforts to be thinner. In the end, all that ended up doing was adding even more weight to my frame. The approach I was using obviously didn't work.
So I decided to try this HAES approach. I began with small things. I stopped berating myself for the size I was, the way I looked and my lack of physical stamina and strength. It took a long time to just get to that point. I began to renew my interest in clothing. I started taking more risks in many areas of my life.
And it helped. The better I treated myself, the better I felt and the better I felt, the better I treated myself. I am not saying this happened overnight. It didn't. But slowly I began to notice positive changes in my attitude and health. My numbers (blood sugar, cholesterol and blood pressure) were all good and my joy of life improved.
Then we moved across the country.
So now we are settled back in Southern California (where we're originally from) and I had a rough time initially. I was tired and unmotivated. It seemed like I had forgotten the lessons I had learned.
Then I found out, through a size acceptance online group I belong to, that Dr. Phil was going to do an episode of his show about the so-called "obesity epidemic" (cue diabolical disaster music here) and he was looking for persons of size (that's me) to be part of the audience. So, on a whim (and a lack of anything better to do as I still hadn't found work), I went to the show.
It was chaos. People on the "thin is fit" side saying we were all walking diseases and people on the "size acceptance" side saying that fat people should be left alone, stop making us into the bad guys and that a fat person could be just as fit as a thin person. It left me with some interesting ideas. Then Dr. Phil dropped a gift on us; a one-year unlimited membership to 24Hour Fitness.
My new projuect was born. I joined, had some personal training sessions (which were not covered) and began my project to get as fit as I could at my present size. Within a few weeks, I was bored. I needed something that could hold my interest for a longer period of time. I needed to interact with others. I needed a sport to play.
Enter boxing. I was always interested in the sport. I wanted to try it but, in the past, I shied away from it (and, to be honest, most other organized sports) due to my size. A cruel debate on Facebook with a stranger claiming to be a retired fitness trainer (a blog post in itself for another time) led me out of the house and over to the boxing gym on the Navy base. It was there I met the trainer, Oscar. I asked a few questions, he told me a little about the facility and then he asked "Are you ready to start today?" I admit, I wasn't, but I said yes anyway.
Tuesday, May 4th was the beginning of this strange new odyssey. I want to point out that I am not looking to lose weight, my body will do what it needs to do. I am, however, looking to build strength, speed and stamina. I am looking to hit hard and to avoid being hit. I am also looking for the other benefits of regular physical activity, improved metabolic numbers. My goal is to be off all my medication by next summer.
I will try to blog about my workouts and experiences in boxing. I will also do my best to blog about size acceptance and how Health at Every Size can be, and should be, what motivates people to activity.
Love yourself now, in this moment. Don't let anyone take that away from you.
Namaste!
So it's been almost two years since I really did much of anything with this blog. It's time I changed that.
During the summer of 2008 I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. To say I was scared would be a vast understatement. I was immediately put on a slew of medications to protect various organs from the damage that diabetes can cause. I was given access to some excellent educational tools to help me control my blood sugar. I learned a great deal about my body, how it works and overall health. At that time I also began researching something called Health At Every Size.
"Health at Every Size is based on the simple premise that the best way to improve health is to honor your body. It supports people in adopting health habits for the sake of health and well-being (rather than weight control). Health at Every Size encourages:http://www.haescommunity.org/
- Accepting and respecting the natural diversity of body sizes and shapes.
- Eating in a flexible manner that values pleasure and honors internal cues of hunger, satiety, and appetite.
- Finding the joy in moving one’s body and becoming more physically vital."
I was intrigued. I had spent so many years, and countless dollars, in efforts to be thinner. In the end, all that ended up doing was adding even more weight to my frame. The approach I was using obviously didn't work.
So I decided to try this HAES approach. I began with small things. I stopped berating myself for the size I was, the way I looked and my lack of physical stamina and strength. It took a long time to just get to that point. I began to renew my interest in clothing. I started taking more risks in many areas of my life.
And it helped. The better I treated myself, the better I felt and the better I felt, the better I treated myself. I am not saying this happened overnight. It didn't. But slowly I began to notice positive changes in my attitude and health. My numbers (blood sugar, cholesterol and blood pressure) were all good and my joy of life improved.
Then we moved across the country.
So now we are settled back in Southern California (where we're originally from) and I had a rough time initially. I was tired and unmotivated. It seemed like I had forgotten the lessons I had learned.
Then I found out, through a size acceptance online group I belong to, that Dr. Phil was going to do an episode of his show about the so-called "obesity epidemic" (cue diabolical disaster music here) and he was looking for persons of size (that's me) to be part of the audience. So, on a whim (and a lack of anything better to do as I still hadn't found work), I went to the show.
It was chaos. People on the "thin is fit" side saying we were all walking diseases and people on the "size acceptance" side saying that fat people should be left alone, stop making us into the bad guys and that a fat person could be just as fit as a thin person. It left me with some interesting ideas. Then Dr. Phil dropped a gift on us; a one-year unlimited membership to 24Hour Fitness.
My new projuect was born. I joined, had some personal training sessions (which were not covered) and began my project to get as fit as I could at my present size. Within a few weeks, I was bored. I needed something that could hold my interest for a longer period of time. I needed to interact with others. I needed a sport to play.
Enter boxing. I was always interested in the sport. I wanted to try it but, in the past, I shied away from it (and, to be honest, most other organized sports) due to my size. A cruel debate on Facebook with a stranger claiming to be a retired fitness trainer (a blog post in itself for another time) led me out of the house and over to the boxing gym on the Navy base. It was there I met the trainer, Oscar. I asked a few questions, he told me a little about the facility and then he asked "Are you ready to start today?" I admit, I wasn't, but I said yes anyway.
Tuesday, May 4th was the beginning of this strange new odyssey. I want to point out that I am not looking to lose weight, my body will do what it needs to do. I am, however, looking to build strength, speed and stamina. I am looking to hit hard and to avoid being hit. I am also looking for the other benefits of regular physical activity, improved metabolic numbers. My goal is to be off all my medication by next summer.
I will try to blog about my workouts and experiences in boxing. I will also do my best to blog about size acceptance and how Health at Every Size can be, and should be, what motivates people to activity.
Love yourself now, in this moment. Don't let anyone take that away from you.
Namaste!
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