The New Bat From Next Door
My next door neighbor (a very nice man) retired, recently sold his house, and just moved out of state.
The new owners are unknowns to me for the most part. I've seen a man with a long white beard, smoking a pipe (looks like Santa on Adkins) moving stuff into the house. He usually smile and waves.
But I never met HER.
Until today.
About 2 p.m. I was enjoying some Harry Potter, book 7 time while finishing lunch at home. The doorbell rings several times and I go to answer it.
Standing on the other side of the screen is a diminutive old lady with short, ginger colored curls framing her lined face.
She immediately lights into me with a barrage of "When are you going to mow your lawn?"
Remember, I've never met this woman before. I've never even SEEN her before.
I politely explain that, being allergic to grass, it would have to wait until my husband returned home this weekend.
She them yelled at me about paying someone to cut it.
Again, I politely explained I did not have the extra money to have someone come and cut it, but that when my husband got home, he would take care of it.
She then starts sreaming at me about how she wasn't going to let ME ruin HER enjoyment of HER new home. She threatened to call the City to make me mow the lawn (yeah, grandma, I'm shakin' in my flip-flops over here!) and that my lawn was a disgrace, etc., ad nauseum.
I tried to get a word in edgewise and, still calmly, told her that she did not need to yell at me, I was not yelling at her. She rolled right over me.
I finally lost it and said, "Look lady, call the City. I'll be filing a complaint against you as well. Good day." and I shut the door in her face.
I have been quasi verbally assaulted by granny on my front porch!
And yes, the grass is unkempt. And yes, I really am allergic to grass (itchy, hives, nasty stuff). And yes, my husband really will come home this weekend and mow the lawn!
My neighborhood, up until this point, has been a quiet haven, an oasis free from drama. The people are friendly and will go out of their way to make you feel welcome.
The old bat better get with the program soon.
She's gonna hate our naked dancing in the back yard (if she's a snoop).
She's gonna hate our garden parties (noise).
She's really gonna hate my husband's motorcycle at 6 a.m. every morning!
I wonder if she is off meds or something?
My next door neighbor (a very nice man) retired, recently sold his house, and just moved out of state.
The new owners are unknowns to me for the most part. I've seen a man with a long white beard, smoking a pipe (looks like Santa on Adkins) moving stuff into the house. He usually smile and waves.
But I never met HER.
Until today.
About 2 p.m. I was enjoying some Harry Potter, book 7 time while finishing lunch at home. The doorbell rings several times and I go to answer it.
Standing on the other side of the screen is a diminutive old lady with short, ginger colored curls framing her lined face.
She immediately lights into me with a barrage of "When are you going to mow your lawn?"
Remember, I've never met this woman before. I've never even SEEN her before.
I politely explain that, being allergic to grass, it would have to wait until my husband returned home this weekend.
She them yelled at me about paying someone to cut it.
Again, I politely explained I did not have the extra money to have someone come and cut it, but that when my husband got home, he would take care of it.
She then starts sreaming at me about how she wasn't going to let ME ruin HER enjoyment of HER new home. She threatened to call the City to make me mow the lawn (yeah, grandma, I'm shakin' in my flip-flops over here!) and that my lawn was a disgrace, etc., ad nauseum.
I tried to get a word in edgewise and, still calmly, told her that she did not need to yell at me, I was not yelling at her. She rolled right over me.
I finally lost it and said, "Look lady, call the City. I'll be filing a complaint against you as well. Good day." and I shut the door in her face.
I have been quasi verbally assaulted by granny on my front porch!
And yes, the grass is unkempt. And yes, I really am allergic to grass (itchy, hives, nasty stuff). And yes, my husband really will come home this weekend and mow the lawn!
My neighborhood, up until this point, has been a quiet haven, an oasis free from drama. The people are friendly and will go out of their way to make you feel welcome.
The old bat better get with the program soon.
She's gonna hate our naked dancing in the back yard (if she's a snoop).
She's gonna hate our garden parties (noise).
She's really gonna hate my husband's motorcycle at 6 a.m. every morning!
I wonder if she is off meds or something?
Labels: crazy people
posted by Kelly | 4:53 PM
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